


The Heart Knows

by vix_spes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-21
Updated: 2009-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7438686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU start to the relationship between our two favourite master/padawan team Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart Knows

‘Only the heart knows how to find that which is precious’  
  
  
-Fyodor Dostoevsky  
  
Obi-Wan really didn’t want to get up that morning. He was starting to wonder whether it would have been better for him to have stayed in AgriCorps than have agreed to become the padawan of Qui-Gon Jinn. He was starting to think that Qui-Gon didn’t actually want him as a padawan; that he had merely accepted him because he felt sorry for him and Master Yoda was pushing him. It wasn’t even as though he really trained with Obi-Wan. He had been Qui-Gon’s padawan for five months now and yet he had only trained with him once a week. Some of the other padawans trained with their masters every day. They also talked about the mental bond they shared with their masters that they used for communication as well as training. Obi-Wan knew that he and his master had such a bond but after two months of the bond being closed off at Qui-Gon’s end Obi-Wan had given up trying to keep it open at his end, letting it grow dormant. He didn’t consciously realise that he was growing more and more depressed. He was going without sleep in an attempt to keep up with his class work as Qui-Gon didn’t help him there either. He was incredibly thankful that he was quick to pick up on the work – he’d even been moved ahead in astrophysics so that he was with padawans two years his senior, not that his master knew that. He didn’t mean to moan as he was just grateful that he was a padawan at all, let alone padawan to the legendary Master Jinn. It was just that he couldn’t help but want more from the relationship – he simply craved acceptance and to a similar extent, affection, especially with his treatment at the hands of his sabre master. He wished he could tell his master but he had the feeling that even if his master actually stopped to listen to him in the first place he wouldn’t necessarily believe him. He knew that he was good with a sabre and picked up the katas incredibly quickly, especially ones that had aerial moved incorporated in them. But, whatever he did simply wasn’t good enough for the master and he picked on Obi-Wan as often as possible for every single little thing. Both the sabre master and several of the other padawans had a tendency to taunt him, making cruel remarks that he wasn’t good enough to be Qui-Gon’s padawan, that he was useless and that he should have been left in AgriCorps. At first the comments had really hurt and they still hurt but more than anything Obi-Wan was starting to agree with them. Sighing he checked the chrono and decided that if he got up now he could skip first meal and get in a couple of hours training before his classes started. If he only skipped a couple of meals it wouldn’t make that much difference. With that decision made he dressed and gathering his data pads and sabre he was out of the door before his master had even started his morning meditations.  
  
This pattern continued for the next few months until Obi-Wan was skipping first meal almost every day and was skipping noon meal more often than not. As his studies progressively became more difficult they cut more and more into his sleeping time until he started to resemble a wraith. He’d barely noticed it himself until his closest friend Bant, one of the initiates, had pointed it out to him. If he was truthful however, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He no longer had any sense of self worth or self-confidence despite having been advanced in classes for astrophysics as well as galactic politics and philosophy. Not that it helped him anyway; he was ostracized by his peers for having been advanced and shunned by the older padawans because he was younger than them – he couldn’t win either way. His sabre master hadn’t let up on him either – constantly jibing and putting him down. He’d lost any confidence in his sabre skills whatsoever and was practising harder than ever. He rarely spent any time with his master – only the few hours they spent training and meditating along with last meal. Obi-Wan was brought out of his thoughts by his masters voice  
  
“Padawan. I want you to meet me in the meditation gardens 15 minutes after your sabre class finishes tomorrow. Is that understood?” he barely waited for Obi-Wan’s meek reply of ‘yes Master’ before moving out of the room.  
  
‘Where is that damn boy?’ Qui-Gon thought as he paced impatiently up and down the entrance to the meditation gardens. ‘I told him to meet me twenty minutes ago and it doesn’t take this long to get here from the training rooms. I’ll give him five more minutes and then I’m going to go and look for him’. He impatiently held out for a further five minutes before starting to stalk over to the training rooms. Thoroughly exasperated he reached the room where Obi-Wan’s class was held and was all ready to storm in and give Obi-Wan a piece of his mind when he heard a raised voice. Recognising the voice of Obi-Wan’s sabre master he cloaked his force presence and started to listen to what was being said.  
  
“I have to admit Kenobi, I’m completely amazed that Master Jinn took you as his padawan. You’re useless. You have no talent with a sabre whatsoever and you never will. No wonder your master never trains with you, he must be utterly embarrassed. He should have left you in AgriCorps where you belong. I expect to see you practising in here every spare moment you have. Am I clear?”  
  
Qui-Gon didn’t hear an answer so he peered through the window to look at what was going on. As he looked through it was as if the blinkers had been removed from his eyes. What he saw shocked him; an incredibly slender Obi-Wan stood looking up at the master eyes brimming with tears and visibly shaking.  
  
The master stormed out through the exit on the opposite sit of the room leaving a scene that caused Qui-Gon’s heart to break into pieces. Obi-Wan lost the battle against holding back the tears and, as they started rolling down his face he started slowly moving through the katas. Gradually, as his confidence grew and safe in the knowledge that no-one was watching he started to speed up, moving rapidly through the katas until he moved beyond the point that Qui-Gon knew his age group stopped at, moving onto the katas practised by senior padawans in their twenties. For his part Qui-Gon was gobsmacked and as he watched he thought to himself ‘Force, if he keeps going at this rate he’ll be a senior padawan by the time he’s 17 and a knight by the time he’s 20’. As the thought hit him so did the guilt. ‘This is my fault, I should have realised about the sabre master and how far he’s progressed’. He stopped and drew a deep breath ‘This stops now’. With that he pushed open the door and called out “Obi-Wan”  
  
As he did so he winced internally, for, as he cried out the boy seemed to lose all of his inherent grace and stumbled to a stop.  
  
“Master! Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise the time. Master Khay’la told me I needed to practise my katas and ….” He trailed off and finished attempting to scrub away the tear tracks running down his face.  
  
Qui-Gon cupped Obi-Wan’s face in his hands and gently brushed away the tears with his thumbs ignoring the shock in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he did so.  
  
“I heard what your sabre master padawan. How long has it been going on? Please tell me Obi-Wan. I know I have been a terrible master but everything is going to change I promise. Please tell me” cutting off Obi-Wan’s protests as to the quality of his being a master “Obi-Wan please, I need to know so that we can sort it out”. His heart sank to the bottom of his boots as he heard the whispered answer  
  
“Ever since I got back from Bandomeer and AgriCorps.”  
  
Thumbing off the sabre still held in Obi-Wan’s lax hand he wrapped an arm around the thin shoulders and led the boy back down the corridors towards their quarters.  
  
“We need to get some food into you padawan; you’re looking far too skinny.” When he didn’t hear an answer he looked down and frowned as he saw Obi-Wan’s face turned towards the floor as he moved along almost catatonically.  
  
Once inside the quarters he directed the youth into the fresher while he moved into the small kitchenette to make some food, calling out to Obi-Wan to get into bed when he was done. Food held in his hands he moved into the small padawans bedroom staring in mounting horror at the blankness of the walls and the desolate atmosphere the room gave off. Nothing in the room showed that a teenage boy lived there; data pads for classes were stacked neatly, uniform hanging neatly in the closet and bed neatly made. He remembered the room as it had been when Xanatos had occupied it; the floor couldn’t be seen, books and sabre were piled haphazardly on the desk, bedclothes thrown everywhere and model star ships hanging from the ceiling. Xanatos would lounge across his bed even when they were discussing serious matters. By contrast, Obi-Wan hovered by the doorway nervously, as though he didn’t even belong in his own room. Qui-Gon smiled gently at him and beckoned him over, guiding him under the covers and placing the tray of food on his lap.  
  
“I know you probably aren’t hungry but please try to eat something. You’re much too thin” he coaxed.  
  
As Obi-Wan started to pick at the food Qui-Gon looked around the room still watching him out of the corner of his eye.  
  
“Obi-Wan, have you not got any comics or books of your own bar your work for classes?”  
  
“I have flight logs and manuals on the shelf above the desk” was the offered answer  
  
Picking up the first book the master opened it and stared in shock at the pages in front of him. For, the pages showed completed flight logs by a certain initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi up to level 13. To be a fully registered pilot flight logs had to be completed up to level 15 followed by a flight exam. How had he not known what a talented pilot his padawan was? ‘Because you didn’t want him as a padawan and avoided him as much as possible’ came the reply from his inner voice.  
  
“Obi-Wan? Did you realise that you only have two more levels of flight logs to complete in order to get your pilots license? I haven’t noticed you doing any flying since we’ve been at the temple”  
  
“That’s because I haven’t done any flying since we got back. I didn’t think you would let me fly”  
  
“Oh Obi-Wan, I’m not going to stop you from doing something you enjoy, especially when you’re obviously so good at it. Would you like to complete your flight logs and take your pilots exam?”  
  
“You would let me do that? You’d let me try and get my pilots license, you wouldn’t mind?”  
  
“Of course I wouldn’t mind, we’ll book you in for the sims tomorrow”  
  
He tried to look away but his gaze was glued to the upturned face of his padawan, huge sea-green eyes glinting with gratefulness and he was hit with shame; that the youth would be so grateful to him simply for allowing him to fly. Tearing himself away he asked  
  
“Are you finished Obi-Wan?”  
  
As the boy nodded sleepily he moved off the bed and started to tuck him in wincing as he felt Obi-Wan’s shock emanating from him through the force. As he reached the door he turned and looked sadly at the too small form huddled under the covers and clutching at his pillow. He deposited the partially empty tray of food in the kitchenette and moved into the common room placing the necessary comm. calls for Obi-Wan to start completing his flight logs. He had just finished when the door chime went and startled he released it with a swift touch of the force in order to avoid waking up Obi-Wan. He looked up and smiled as he saw who it was  
  
“Tahl! Just the person I need to speak to”  
  
“What have you done now Qui-Gon – pissed the council off again”  
  
“Not this time old friend. Sit down. It’s about Obi-Wan”  
  
“Ah, you’ve finally realised how you’ve been treating him? That poor boy deserves more than you’ve been giving him. He’s incredibly strong in the force and it’s about time people started realising it. I’ve been talking to that friend of his, Bant, the Mon Calamari initiate and she’s been saying he’s getting incredibly skinny and he doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping.”  
  
“I know, I know. I’ve already started working on it. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else” At the other masters raised eyebrow he continued talking “We agreed to meet after Obi-Wan’s sabre class today but he was late. I decided to go to the training rooms to try and find him. When I got there the sabre master had kept him behind and was yelling at him, telling him he was useless, he didn’t know why I had taken Obi as my padawan and the he would have been better off left in AgriCorps. That’s not the worst of it though Tahl; when I asked Obi how long it had been going on he said since Bandomeer. My padawan has been bullied for the last nine cycles and he was too afraid to tell me. As of tomorrow, and he doesn’t know this yet, I’m withdrawing him from sabre class and teaching him myself.”  
  
“Qui-Gon Jinn you can’t withdraw him from sabre class. He needs to learn the katas.”  
  
“He already knows the katas through to form 22 Tahl – he’s good, he’s very good and as far as I’m concerned I’m withdrawing him and teaching him to spar”  
  
“You’re teaching him to spar as of tomorrow? What about his class work?”  
  
“Actually starting tomorrow we’re having a few days off. That initiate you’ve been talking to is right – he hasn’t been sleeping or eating and it’s going to stop. I’m going to let him sleep in tomorrow then we’re going down to the flight sims because he wants to do some work down there. I thought about taking him to the downtown gardens and to Dex’s as well. What do you think?”  
  
“Are you trying to exhaust the boy even further Qui-Gon? Why go to the downtown gardens and Dex’s when we have the meditation garden and food hall here?”  
  
“I just think it will do the two of us good to be away from the temple – show Obi-Wan that I want something to do with him outside of training and missions”  
  
“I think that’s a very good idea. You’ve got an incredibly sweet and talented boy for a padawan Qui-Gon Jinn and you make sure you give him everything he deserves. Now, if you’re planning on doing all that tomorrow you’re going to need sleep so I’m going to leave you now.” With that that female master rose and, pausing briefly to press a kiss on his cheek, made her way out of the door.  
  
On his way to his own room, Qui-Gon couldn’t resist checking up on Obi-Wan and to his consternation saw that he was still huddled protectively under his covers clutching his pillow to him.  
  
“Tomorrows a new day and a new start. Tomorrow I’m going to put right this mess I’ve made”  
  
The next morning Obi-Wan awoke to daylight streaming in through the window. Confused he glanced blearily at the chrono on his bedside table and sat up in shock at what it read; tenth hour. His master normally woke him at sixth hour for morning meditations. As if he had sensed his shock his master appeared in the doorway. Immediately Obi-Wan started stammering and stuttering apologies only to be cut off  
  
“Good morning padawan. Breakfast will be ready in 10minutes. Why don’t you use the fresher?”  
  
“Yes master”  
  
As he showered and dressed for the day Obi-Wan was highly confused. His master barely spoke to him beyond the basic necessities let alone wished him a good morning and made breakfast. A small flicker of hope ignited itself at the idea that maybe Qui-Gon did want him as his padawan and that he wasn’t useless. Resolutely he forced it down; if he didn’t hope now then it wouldn’t hurt as much when he was rejected once more. He tried to console himself with this thought but deep down he knew that the next rejection would be just as painful as the first; like someone had stabbed him in the heart and then twisted the knife. He was brought out of his thoughts by Qui-Gon’s call  
  
“Obi-Wan! If you don’t hurry up your breakfast will get cold”  
  
Quickly Obi-Wan scurried out of the fresher and to the small dining table in the corner of the common room, head ducked down so he missed the smile Qui-Gon directed his way. Qui-Gon sighed as Obi-Wan scuttled around like a frightened kitten, too scared to look up and just picking at his food. He suddenly realised he hadn’t told Obi-Wan of his plans for the day.  
  
“Obi-Wan?” he briefly heard a ‘yes master’ although Obi-Wan never looked up. “Obi-Wan please look at me when I’m talking to you” he smiled gently as sea-green eyes tilted up to look at him. “I was just going to tell you that I booked you into the flight sims for a few hours this morning and then I thought we could go downtown to the gardens and get something to eat in the food quarter. How does that sound?”  
  
“It sounds great Master. But what about my classes?”  
  
“I’m pulling you out of your sabre classes as I don’t like the way that master has been treating you; I’ll teach you myself and we can catch up your other classes. So, what do you think?”  
  
Obi-Wan smiled shyly at him “When do we go?”  
  
“As soon as you’re ready”  
  
As they entered the bustling food quarter of downtown Coruscant Obi-Wan instinctively pressed closer to his master, overwhelmed by the sights and smells of the bustling city. He hadn’t been in the city since he was a young initiate and had never been this far or realised just how large the city was. He peeked out from behind his master as he greeted a huge jovial alien who seemed delighted to see him. He also seemed delighted to meet Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon introduced him, giving him a massive hug whilst proclaiming that Obi-Wan was much too skinny and that he needed feeding up. Qui-Gon smiled as Dex bustled about getting the two of them some food.  
  
“Don’t worry about Dex. I know he’s big but he’s completely harmless. He’s always had a soft spot for Jedi especially padawans.”  
  
Seconds later Obi-Wan was staring in disbelief at the size of the plate Dex had placed in front of him whilst telling Obi-Wan he expected him to eat all of it  
  
“But, but I can’t eat all of that – there’s too much there. Besides I don’t eat…” the rest of the sentence tailed away and ended in a mumble  
  
“You don’t eat what Obi-Wan? First meal, noon meal or last meal? I’d really like to know”  
  
“Why do you want to know though?” Obi-Wan burst out “Why now? Why not four months ago when I started skipping meals?”  
  
“Because I was an old blind fool Obi-Wan and I hadn’t realised just how much you mean to me. Please will you tell me why you did it?”  
  
“You weren’t helping much with my katas so I started skipping first meal to do more practise. And I had all my class work to work out and then they advanced me and it was becoming even harder to keep up so I started skipping noon meal and sleep to keep up with everything”  
  
“Slow down for a moment Obi-Wan. Advanced? What do you mean advanced?”  
  
“They moved me ahead in a few of my classes”  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head in disbelief and slowly massaged his temples “Which classes?”  
  
“Erm,” here Obi-Wan looked sheepish “Erm, astrophysics, galactic politics and philosophy”  
  
“Obi, do you realise that they’re the hardest classes? And you’ve been advanced into classes with padawans how old?”  
  
“15 I think. Is it really that unusual?”  
  
“It’s definitely not common practise. I’m very impressed Obi-Wan. Now, are you finished eating? Yes? Would you like to go to the downtown gardens?” As Obi-Wan nodded enthusiastically he spoke “Let’s say goodbye to Dex then and we’ll go”  
A week later Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were closer than they had been but still they needed a push to cross the remaining distance. Qui-Gon had been called to a meeting with the council so, rather than stay in their quarters he made his way to the training rooms to practise his katas. Once there he immersed himself in the forms practising them over and over until he moved through them with an obvious grace. He was halfway through the fifteenth form when he felt a number of force presences enter the room interrupting his momentum. Looking up he suppressed a groan for standing in the doorway was Bruck Chun and several of his heavies; fellow padawans who seemed to have made it their ambition in life to make Obi-Wan miserable. He tried to ignore them but couldn’t help flinching as they started jeering at him.  
  
“Hey Oafy-Wan! Haven’t seen you in class recently. You too scared to come?”  
  
“Yeah too afraid to show yourself up or has Master Jinn finally realised that you’re useless and abandoned you?”  
  
“No, I’m still his padawan”  
  
“So why aren’t you in sabre class then? Do you think you’re too good for the rest of us?”  
  
“No, my master withdrew me from class and he’s teaching me himself. I don’t know why.”  
  
“He must feel sorry for you. He’s too good a master for you Kenobi. Let’s see how good you really are with a sabre Oafy-Wan” Bruck said with a sneer  
  
Obi-Wan barely had time to light his sabre before the four of them were on him. He managed to hold his own for a while before they began to gain an edge. For all his ability with a sabre he was still small for his age especially compared to Bruck and his friends. They quickly disarmed him and knocked him to the floor giving him several sabre burns in the process and continuing to kick and punch him when he went down. Thinking they had heard someone coming they ran off leaving Obi-Wan huddled on the floor of the training room.  
  
Gingerly he picked himself up off the floor and, grabbing his sabre, hurried through the corridors to the quarters he shared with his master hoping he wouldn’t bump into anyone he knew. To his relief he made it and palming the door open threw himself into his room and onto his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks as the humiliation he had just suffered finally sank in. Sobbing quietly he curled himself around his pillow in an attempt to comfort himself. He was so wrapped up in his misery he failed to notice his master entering the room until he sat down on the edge of the bed.  
  
Qui-Gon was almost cheerful as he returned from the council meeting as they had only butted heads once. He grimaced as he neared the door to the quarters he shared with Obi-Wan; misery was rolling from the door in waves. Now highly concerned he quickly palmed the door and entered calling out  
  
“Obi-Wan? Padawan?”  
  
When he heard no reply he walked to Obi-Wan’s room and as he entered the room his heart sank. Obi-Wan was curled up around his pillow, eyes closed with tears running from beneath his eyelashes. Swiftly Qui-Gon crossed the room and seated himself on the bed next to his padawan, running a hand up and down the boys back in what he hoped was a soothing manner.  
  
“Obi-Wan? Talk to me please padawan. Come on little one, I need to know that the problem is”  
  
He didn’t know where the endearment came from but he knew that it felt right. He wasn’t quite prepared for Obi-Wan’s response however. Obi-Wan threw himself at his master and, clinging to him, continued crying. Qui-Gon, for his part, reacted instinctively and since Obi-Wan was small enough scooped him onto his lap and rocked him back and forth smoothing one hand through the reddish-gold hair as he murmured soothingly.  
  
“Sssshh little one. It’s alright now my Obi-Wan. Calm down. Everything’s going to be okay. Sssshh.”  
  
Gradually the sobs tailed off until Obi-Wan was lying limply in his masters embrace, worn out from his emotional outburst. Qui-Gon made no attempt to move him, just pressed a kiss to his forehead and spoke softly to him.  
  
“Now then, do you want to tell me what had you so upset hmm?” The answer, when it came, was so quiet he had to strain to hear it  
  
“Am I really useless Master?”  
  
“Of course you’re not useless little one. Who’s been telling you that? Not your sabre master again?”  
  
Obi-Wan shook his head “Bruck Chun and some of the other padawans. They were calling me worthless and saying I wasn’t in the sabre class anymore because I was so useless and I wasn’t good enough to have you as my master”  
  
Qui-Gon held him tighter as he replied “Of course you’re good enough to be my padawan, I just didn’t realise it at first. You’re not useless or worthless, I know it’s hard but you just have to ignore them. I know it’s not going to be easy but it’s better to do it this way.”  
  
He squeezed Obi-Wan tighter before the boy let out a pained hiss sending Qui-Gon into a panic.  
  
“Obi-Wan? What’s the matter? Are you hurt little one?”  
  
“They hit me a few times with their sabres and then they kicked me a couple of times. It’s not that bad”  
  
“It doesn’t matter how bad it is, I’m going to get some bacta to put on them, just wait here.”  
  
He set Obi-Wan aside and moved into the fresher to pick up a jar of bacta they kept for emergencies or injuries that weren’t bad enough to warrant a trip to the healers. By the time he had moved back into Obi-Wan’s room Obi-Wan had managed to remove his cloak and tunics revealing several nasty sabre burns and bruises that were swiftly turning black. Sitting back down and pulling Obi-Wan closer he started smoothing bacta gently over the injuries trying not to cause anymore pain than there already was. The gentle touch was soothing to Obi-Wan providing him with the comfort he so desperately needed and before long he had succumbed to exhaustion, head resting on his master’s shoulder.  
  
Qui-Gon looked down in surprise as he felt Obi-Wan’s head fall to his shoulder only to see that he had fallen asleep. Acting again on instinct he scooped him up and walked into the master bedroom, wanting to keep an eye on him overnight. He tucked him under the covers and dimmed the lights before moving to the comm. centre; he had several calls to make about certain padawans. Later than night as he lay on top of the covers next to the small form he couldn’t help but hope that they had turned the corner.  
  
The next morning when Obi-Wan woke he was faced with unfamiliar surroundings. Confused he blinked a couple of times and racked his brains trying to work out where he was before he remembered he was in his master’s bedroom. He could even sense his master behind him, still asleep and snoring softly. Almost immediately incriminating thoughts began running through his head, berating himself for being such a cry baby the previous night. Slipping silently out of the bed he winced as the skin around his newly healed injuries pulled slightly. Moving into his own room he sat in the corner by his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest and mentally replaying what had happened the previous night. He couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that spiked in him as he recalled his master calling his ‘little one’ and ‘my Obi-Wan’ but ruthlessly told himself to stop being silly, that it was only last night and it wasn’t going to continue. Glancing at his chrono he realised it was almost time for his classes so, quickly changing and grabbing his data pads he slipped out of the door avoiding Qui-Gon by seconds.  
  
He stepped into the classroom minutes before the class started only to find that the one remaining spare seat was directly in front of Bruck and his friends. Swallowing in an attempt to clear his throat and gathering his courage he made his way to the seat and sat down just as the teacher entered the room. Throughout the entire class he endured the jibes and taunts of the other boys, trying to ignore them as his master had told him to. As the class finished and he got up Bruck’s final comment got to him  
  
“Hey Oafy-Wan, did you go and cry to your master like a little crèche baby last night? Prove how worthless and what a weakling you really are? Your master commed ours and threatened to take us in front of the council if it happens the next time. Next time we’ll make sure you can’t tell your master.”  
  
The accusations and jibes hit Obi-Wan like a sledgehammer corresponding with his own thoughts. Turning tail he fled down the corridors, ignoring the shouts of the surrounding knights and masters that running was forbidden in the corridors. He threaded his way through the meditation gardens to a little cubby hole between some rocks at the back and huddled there silent tears dripping down his face.  
  
Several hours later Qui-Gon was roused from his meditations by the chiming of the comm. unit. Grumbling slightly he made his way to answer it  
  
“Jinn here”  
  
“Master Jinn, it’s Master Deumis, Obi-Wan’s teacher. Is Padawan Kenobi with you?”  
  
“No, why would he be? He’d already left for class when I got up. Why? What has happened?”  
  
“Obi-Wan didn’t turn up for his levitation class or astrophysics. I wondered if you knew why he didn’t attend. Master Jinn?”  
  
“Obi-Wan hasn’t returned to our quarters since he left this morning. When was the last time he was seen?”  
  
“He was seen talking to Padawan Chun at the end of their galactic history class this morning and he hasn’t been seen since”  
  
“Thank you for informing me Master. I’ll start searching for him”  
  
“Of course Master Jinn. Please let me know when you find him”  
  
Disconnecting the call Qui-Gon proceeded to panic; his padawan had been missing for five hours and the last person he had been seen with was someone who had attacked him. He had hoped that he had broken through the last barrier with Obi-Wan the previous night so the boy would feel able to come to him but it would appear not to be so. He suddenly realised there was one barrier left to break down; the master and padawan training bond. He knew that it would be weak as it had never been used since it was formed. Slowly he peeled away the mental barriers surrounding the bond and cast his presence down it searching wildly for Obi-Wan’s force signature. Finally he found it although it was so weak he nearly missed it. Grabbing his cloak off its peg he ran from the room in a swirl of brown and cream heading for the remote corner of the meditation garden where he knew his padawan had hidden himself. As soon as he entered the gardens he headed straight for the back corner avoiding the small knots of knights and masters clustered around the entrance. As soon as he moved into the undergrowth he started calling out both physically and mentally. After several long minutes of searching he found a small cubby hole nestled between some rocks and crouched in there was his padawan, curled up in a ball and the remains of tears on his cheeks. He felt as though his heart had taken up residence in his boots. Scooting closer he reached out at the same time as he spoke.  
  
“Obi-Wan? Are you awake little one?”  
  
When he heard no answer he reached in and scooped Obi-Wan into his arms. As he moved out of the small space and into the open he adjusted Obi-Wan more securely in his arms, smiling as he snuggled closer in like a kitten seeking warmth. The emotional outbursts he had had to deal with in the past couple of days had exhausted him into a deep sleep. Qui-Gon was relieved as this made it easier to move him. Slowly he threaded his way through the garden avoiding the main entrance and the well used corridors so that they weren’t seen and no questions were asked. Obi-Wan stirred once on the way but Qui-Gon sent a slight sleep suggesting allowing him the much needed sleep. Walking into their apartment he placed Obi-Wan on the couch before placing a quick call to notify Obi-Wan’s teacher that he had been found. Sitting next to his padawan he was surprised as the boy again unconsciously cuddled closer to the warmth of his body heat. As he did so Qui-Gon was surprised to experience the feeling that hit him; that it was nice to have someone to look after again. He wrapped one arm around Obi-Wan pulling him in closer, wrapping his cloak around him at the same time whilst letting his mind drift off.  
  
When Obi-Wan woke up he only managed to wake for a few minutes. He had never felt his blankets be this warm or his pillow this soft. As he tried to curl closer to the warmth he didn’t notice the large hand that smoothed through his hair or the deep voice that rumbled soft endearments.  
  
The next time he awoke it was sufficient for him to register his surroundings. To his embarrassment he realised that the pillow and blanket he had thought of earlier were in fact his master’s cloak and chest respectively. Although he was embarrassed it was overshadowed by the love he felt at that moment. Resigning himself to the fact that it would soon be over he started to move only to be pressed back into his original position by Qui-Gon.  
  
“Hush little one, don’t worry, and get some more rest”  
  
He looked up at his master curiously “But what about you? You can’t move while I’m here”  
  
“That doesn’t matter; I’m perfectly comfortable where I am thank you. Now try and go back to sleep for a bit longer Obi and then we’ll get some food – you need both.” As he was speaking he had continued smoothing his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair so that the mumbled response was a sleepy  
  
“’kay”  
Three months later Obi-Wan awoke from his sleep at the gentle touch of his master’s hand on his shoulder. Looking up blearily into smiling blue eyes he smiled shyly in response to Qui-Gon’s words  
  
  
“Happy Birthday little one. Go and shower and by the time you’re done, breakfast will be ready” and with that he left the room  
  
As he dragged himself out from under the covers Obi-Wan couldn’t help but marvel at the difference already between this birthday and his last. This time last year he had been aboard the Monument headed for Bandomeer. This time last year he had had no hope whatsoever of having Qui-Gon Jinn as his master. Even after he had become Qui-Gon’s padawan he had never imagine that it would be like this. To Jedi initiates and padawans, even to his fellow knights and masters Qui-Gon Jinn was a formidable presence with a reputation for keeping his distance from relationships of any kind. Therefore he could hardly believe the changes that had occurred in the last three cycles; his master had almost become a changed man, much more openly affectionate to Obi-Wan be it the endearments he bestowed upon the padawan, a hug when he had done something right or a paternal goodnight kiss on his forehead. Obi-Wan knew that he would never take it for granted but he was starting to become comfortable enough to return the gestures. As he walked out into the common room he could see that his master had made his favourite berry pancakes and to his surprise there was a small wrapped present next to his place. His master must have seen his gaze because he spoke  
  
“You can open it you know. It is yours”  
  
Slowly he unwrapped it to reveal a beautiful rock that hummed with the force when he touched it. He looked up as his master spoke again  
  
“I found it a long time ago in a river on my home planet when I was a knight. Now I want you to have it and I won’t take no for an answer” he added at the end anticipating Obi-Wan’s protests that he couldn’t take something so precious.  
  
For once, shyness deserted Obi-Wan and he flung himself at his master, hugging him in thanks. Laughing, Qui-Gon hugged him back relishing the openness from Obi-Wan. Their relationship had gradually deepened over the last few months until it was clear in Qui-Gon’s mind that he saw Obi-Wan as a son. There was none of the secrecy there had been with Xanatos – it was merely shyness that stopped Obi-Wan from confiding everything in his master and the shyness was no longer disturbing, it was more endearing.  
  
“Well little one, what do you want to do today? We’ll do your birthday meditations after we’ve finished eating and then it’s up to you what we do. Any ideas?”  
  
“It’s the sabre tournament tomorrow though master. I should do some practise for it. I don’t want to mess anything up.”  
  
“Obi-Wan, I’m well aware of the fact that the tournament is tomorrow but one day without practise isn’t going to hurt. You’re much more advanced than any of your age mates due to the fact that you’ve been sparring with me and several of the other masters. In fact, it might be an idea for you to start learning some of the other forms other than form IV, so that you can be sure in the knowledge you can protect against all forms of attack. Besides, it’s your birthday and if you can’t have a day off on your birthday when can you?”  
  
“Ok, Master, I trust you on this. I suppose a break could do me some good and doing something different will take my mind off the tournament and making me nervous. Do you think we could maybe go to Dex’s and the gardens in Coruscant?”  
  
“Of course we can. I take it that you don’t want to go to the meditation gardens or the food hall?”  
  
“No master! The younglings are having lessons with Master Yoda in the gardens today so I don’t think they’ll be remotely peaceful and the food hall is serving Dagoban stew today.”  
  
“Ah, I see your point” the master grimaced “I couldn’t understand anyone wanting to eat Dagoban stew on their birthday unless it was Masters Yoda or Yaddle.” Smiling at Obi-Wan he sent him off to his room to get his cloak so that they could make their way into the city.  
  
Later that evening when they returned from their day they both sank into the couch that dominated the common room. Qui-Gon, sprawled out over one end, looked over at Obi-Wan who was huddled in the other corner, head nodding onto his chest as he drifted off to sleep in an incredibly uncomfortable position.  
  
“Obi” he called out, smiling softly at the boy as he looked up sleepily “come here little one” holding an arm out in gesture. The smile stayed as Obi-Wan sleepily crawled over the couch to settle against Qui-Gon’s side underneath his shoulder with his head against his mentor’s chest. Qui-Gon ruffled the red-gold hair slightly before pressing a kiss to the almost hidden forehead. His smile only faltered slightly when he heard thoughts coming from Obi-Wan whose shields were by now almost non-existent due to the boys exhaustion.  
  
/I love this, I just hope it’s not some wonderful dream/  
  
Qui-Gon hastened to reassure Obi-Wan, sending wave upon wave of love and reassurance down their bond whilst speaking fiercely to him, holding him tighter /This is no dream Obi-Wan, trust me on this. You are my padawan, my son. This is never going to stop, I can promise you that, I am always going to be here, whenever you need me/ He still hated the fact that Obi-Wan was still so insecure as to his place in the master’s life and heart and swore to himself that he would continue to work to prove to Obi-Wan that this relationship was there to stay. He tightened his arms around his protégé and pressed a kiss to his forehead and then the top of his head.  
  
Obi-Wan just nestled closer, sighing in comfort as Qui-Gon’s arm wrapped tighter around him /Thank you master. I love you/  
  
/No, thank you little one, for making me see how blind I was being. I love you too my son/  
  
He sat there for several hours just enjoying the feeling of being able to hold Obi-Wan until he started to fall asleep himself. Shaking his head slightly he moved Obi-Wan until he was cradled in his lap to enable him to move him more easily. Scooping Obi-Wan into his arms he was pleased to note that the boy now weighed a healthy amount and no longer looked like a wraith. Tucking him in he couldn’t help the satisfaction as he saw that he no longer huddled under his blankets and crushed his pillow to himself, he was now in a fully fledged sprawl across the bed, a sign that he was finally growing completely comfortable with his surroundings. Knowing he had to get some sleep himself Qui-Gon backed out of the door, dimming the lights as he went, they both had a busy day in the morning.  
  
As they ate first meal they briefly discussed the padawan sabre tournament which, luckily for Obi-Wan, had fallen on the day after his birthday.  
  
“Are you nervous Obi-Wan?”  
  
“A little but only because it’s my first time and I suppose because I haven’t been in class with the other padawans my age.”  
  
“You don’t regret not being in class with the others do you Obi?”  
  
“No Master, I know it was the best decision for me. Plus it’s been really helpful sparring against you. I just don’t want to let you down Master”  
  
“As long as you do your best Obi-Wan I will be proud of you wherever you are ranked whether it is high or low. Now, go and fetch your cloak and sabre. It’s time for us to be going”  
  
Silently the two of them joined the crowds moving towards the main arena, all of them anticipating the event to come. As Obi-Wan gazed around in awe he felt his masters hand clamp down on his shoulder in reassurance although he didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to.  
  
As Obi-Wan moved to join his age mates in the salle Qui-Gon joined the other masters sat close by the auditorium taking a seat next to Tahl.  
  
“Everything ok with Obi-Wan? No outright panic or anything? It must be rough having the tournament the day after his birthday. Did you make him train yesterday? Did you get him a present?”  
  
“Yes, no, no and yes. Everything is ok with Obi-Wan and no there’s been no outright panic. No I didn’t make him train yesterday, we spent the day relaxing and I took him out to dinner. As a present I gave him a force sensitive stone from my home planet”  
  
“Humph! You gave him a rock for his fourteenth birthday? Sometimes I think you have rocks for brains Qui-Gon Jinn. What happened to getting him a model star ship or something similar?”  
  
“I’d like to think I know my padawan a little bit and I don’t think he’d like a model star ship. Besides he’s so close to taking his pilots exams and when he passes he’s going to need something to fly”  
  
“You’re going to buy him a ship of his own? Whatever happened to all that original rot of not spoiling him? Buying him his own ship and taking him out of class at 13 isn’t spoiling him?”  
  
“It might appear like I’m spoiling him but Obi-Wan has made it perfectly clear he would be happy without the gifts and the special treatment as long as I remained his master. That’s what makes him special – he’s pure light and he always will be. But look, they’re about to start”  
  
“One last question Qui, how far do you expect Obi-Wan to get today?”  
  
“I expect him to place in the top five or thereabouts”  
  
“He’s that good?”  
  
“He’s that good” came the emphatic answer  
  
Watching Obi-Wan fight Tahl had to admit that Qui-Gon was right – Obi-Wan was good. He was still small and slender but what he lacked in size and strength he made up for elsewhere. Fast and technically brilliant he had an almost catlike agility. And, as she noted wryly, as he sparred against a stockier white haired padawan, he didn’t fight in anger as Qui-Gon had originally been so concerned about. In fact, it was quite the opposite as he basked in the light. The changed relationship had done wonders for both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. She continued to watch amazed as Obi-Wan continued to spar, beating padawans several years his senior, incorporating more and more aerial moves as he progressed. Finally his stature couldn’t withstand that of his competitors and he lost in the later stages to a padawan six years his senior amid the cheers of his age mates. She saw him glance anxiously at his master as it to gauge how he had done. He smiled tentatively at Qui-Gon and all of a sudden his grin widened displaying a slight dimple and more than just a hint of mischief. Looking over at Qui-Gon she saw why; the normally aloof master’s face was wreathed in smiles, pride showing openly at his padawans achievement.  
  
“You must be very proud Qui-Gon. A fourteen year old hasn’t made the top five since …” as she racked her brain trying the think Qui-Gon broke in  
  
“Since me. There hasn’t been a fourteen year old in the top five since me.” He stared as Tahl burst into peals of laughter “What’s so funny?”  
  
“Obi-Wan’s turning into a miniature version of you; Dooku took you out of sabre classes when you were thirteen, both of you are favourites of Yoda and both of you are incredibly strong in one particular aspect of the force and opposing aspects at that. I bet the council’s regretting pairing you two – you were made for each other”  
  
“And everyone knew it but me. I have to admit though I think my heart accepted him before my mind did. Anyway, I believe I have a padawan to celebrate with. Would you like to join us?”  
  
“No, I think this time belongs to the two of you. Now, get down there with him while he receives his bead”  
  
She watched smiling as Qui-Gon stood proudly behind Obi-Wan as he received a bead signifying his fifth place ranking within the junior padawans. She started as she heard Mace Windu’s voice at her shoulder  
  
“Those two are going to be trouble for the council; I can just see it now”  
  
And as she saw Obi-Wan turn and give the same mischievous grin at his master; mischief that was reciprocated in ice-blue eyes she couldn’t help but agree; Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi were going to be a brilliant pairing but a troublesome one.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would prefer to comment on LJ, you can do so [here](http://vix-spes.livejournal.com/15584.html)


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